Repair & Revamp

I started writing an amazing post.. but it was so long.. so here's the condensed version [it's still lengthy].

In the past week I was in Reno for less than 7 hours, got my 2nd speeding ticket of this month/my life, an old lady stole my parking spot & made me EXTREMELY late to class, got starbucks thrown at me, crashed a bachelor party -only to be told that marriage was the biggest mistake of their life... & oh ya, decided to drastically change everything about my life.

read this book.

I miss Jesus & being fulfilled. I realized that my life goal of being a housewife & the BEST mom in the world.. revolves around a guy.. & not only do I not have a guy..
but how stupid is it to make your dreams rely on someone else.

It's heartbreaking to give this up.. you don't understand.

But goodbye cooking dinner 

for my hubby every night

& goodbye putting notes 

in my kids lunch pail..

 I'm constructing new goals & dreams for noone but me. 

In the meantime I have weekly goals. In the past I've done no drinking for six months, no kissing for three & no dating for a whopping whole month! But now I made goals that will have lasting positive consequences. 

Things like: learn how to do my makeup & then do it for an entire week, bike ride, cook dinner, random acts of kindness, style my hair, paint a new picture... random goals done all in weekly increments & hopefully will carry out in weeks that follow.

Being a robot only helps for so long before it does horrific, irreversible damage. So I've been sad & angry & now I'm ready to be happy. I deserve to make myself happy. So join me on my journey & read every Saturday for results of that weeks goal.