What am I doing again?

I wish I was an anonymous blogger because I have some scandalous dirt.
but since reputations & jobs are at stake... I'll keep my mouth shut. 
just know that this week was ridiculous..

In other news, my goal the past 7 days was to write a song, play it on my uke & post it here. But lets be honest..
I have NO time.
I did write two eight counts of music, then school/work/social life got in the way.
So I just practiced hawaiian songs... for like 20 minutes, 3 days this week.
EPIC FAIL.

between 2 jobs, end of the semester school load & trying to create a new life... I'm pooped.
& to make things complicated boys want to date me. WHY!?...i DON'T know.

today I also came to the depressing conclusion that the X literally chose partying over me. not just me... but us. I realize that people will say, "well he's the stupid one" but seriously... how am I not worth more than getting embarrassingly drunk & hooking up with girls who won't even remember him?! How am I not worth more than shallow friendships conceived from taking body shots?

So confused.

That's my insecure rant. My hopeless future rant is coming in 3..2..1.. I'm thinking of being a baker.. like a cake decorator or something...maybe a wedding planner. I have like a 6 year gap I need to fill with a temporary career. oh & I'm contemplating getting a boob job. I'm not sure why..but the past 9 days it's seemed like an AWESOME idea.

*for those reading this ridiculously plain post, I will fix it but I'm currently late on procrastinating on a project even more by meeting friends at a bar. so apologize for now, editing will occur lates.

ps. I'm going out on a date this week.